This Southern Faggot's Blog


Pronouns
March 25, 2009, 3:43 pm
Filed under: Rants | Tags: , ,

I really don’t understand most peoples confusion about my require pronoun of “it”, while most people seem to understand other gender neutral pronouns that they are not already familiar with.

What people find so valid about “hir” or”zie” I will never know. Most “gender neutral” pronouns are either a mixture of he and she, or they sound like he or she, which I do not find helpful at all.

I can somewhat understand a Trans person’s offense of my gender pronoun, “it”, as it is often used towards Trans folks in a very negative manner, but we gotta learn to throw it back in people’s faces and give them a big fuck you. The day I decided to start using “it”, I was on the bus and I was having a really, really shitty day. As I was getting off the bus, the two people asked each other if “it is a boy or a girl”. I clearly overheard them, as that was their intention in the first place, and it made me giddier than I can ever remember being before. I spent the rest of the day thinking about what it would look like to be an “it” and what “it” meant to me and I decided it was the perfect gender neutral pronoun.

    Pronouns are so unnecessarily confusing to most people, which another thing I will never understand. I did this Trans panel a few months ago and after I was hanging out with some kids and someone who was not at the panel came up and we were talking. Some girl there looked at him and said “Oh, this is Adam! He identifies as it!” and I had to explain to her that no, he does not. It does, however.

    Another pet peeve of mine is when I am in a group and we are going around doing intros and PGP’s (Preferred (required) Gender Pronouns) and someone ALWAYS says “I don’t have a preferred pronoun! I am just a human!”

    Being able to say something like this requires a whole fucking lot of privilege. You won’t ever hear a Trans or Queer kid saying this, because they don’t have the privilege of not having to constantly think about gender and how it effects them (and fucks them over regularly).

    And if this is the case and you really are “just a human”, then why do you only use one gender of bathroom? I am always tempted to use the pronoun that I think these people don’t want to hear, just to test how much they actually believe they are “just a human”.

    Sometimes I feel like this response is a cop out and maybe these folks feel bad for living in a gendered body, which if you have actually given it thought and made a decision to live as that gender, you shoulden’t feel bad about.

    I feel like this isn’t a good ending at all. But I guess I am fine with that.

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    2 Comments so far
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    “Being able to say something like this requires a whole fucking lot of privilege. You won’t ever hear a Trans or Queer kid saying this, because they don’t have the privilege of not having to constantly think about gender and how it effects them (and fucks them over regularly).

    And if this is the case and you really are “just a human”, then why do you only use one gender of bathroom? I am always tempted to use the pronoun that I think these people don’t want to hear, just to test how much they actually believe they are “just a human”.”

    I feel this way so often. I’m glad we think the same.

    Also, I wanted to ask you how you were doing with some of your nonqueer friends and your pronoun, and them understanding queer things. I know that can be difficult because queerness is so ingrained in us, and my life revolves around it. When I came back to little rock over christmas and saw two of my bestfriends, i was telling them about queer things, anarchy and direct action concepts. eventually they told me that they didnt know if we could be close anymore. I understood that because in my mind, i began to see us on totally different worlds. we grew apart so much….it was disheartening.
    I know this is a rant, but i just wanted to throw it out there.
    xo

    Comment by leila

    For me right now, I don’t really have any friends in town that I would consider Queer. I have a (very) few “LGBT” friends, but none of them identify with the radical-ness that is Queer. So for me, I am used to not being able to really talk about anything that I want to, which is kind of where this blog came from.

    As far as my pronoun, it’s been a very odd experience. I guess I wasn’t clear enough, or something, when I told folks, so I continued to get “him”ed and “he”ed, but it would ALWAYS happen in the middle of of a sentence, or group of sentences, so by the time they got to the end of what they were saying, I just kept saying to my self that I would tell them later, but then I never got around to it.

    But after I started identifying with it more, I guess i started to experience the same thing as you, where I felt like I was growing apart from my non-Queer friends. So then i just never corrected the pronoun, in the same way that i don’t correct peoples pronouns at the Waffle House.

    That being said, one of my good friends, who is straight sexually, but I would identify as politically Queer, has started using either no pronouns or gender neutral pronouns and its terribly exciting. But, I do know what you feel like cause I have been going through that with a lot of my friends, where I just feel like I live in a completely different world than they do.

    I’m not really sure what to do about that, either.

    Maybe nothing needs to be done.

    Comment by thissouthernfaggot




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