This Southern Faggot's Blog

My fan is blowing stuff all around my room

My dad is out of town, so I have to go over to my parents house every few days and babysit my dog and mother. I love seeing my dog so much, its always so happy to see me its nice. Seeing my mother takes a whole lot of energy and I have to be in a really, really good mental state to do it, or i just cry and cry. I went through some old photo albums of my parents and they used to be so happy looking and my mom didn’t look like a skeleton yet. I ended up just crying a whole bunch, but I felt bad because I wasn’t really sure why. I guess its for a whole bunch of reasons. It is terrifying to know that someone can go through such a drastic change, so quickly. A life can be ruined, essentially ended, in just a few years. Looking through old pictures, I just have to wonder where she thought she would be right now.

Clearly not almost bed ridden and only possessing the will to leave the bed to smoke or drink boxed wine.

Every time I go over there, I make big plans to sit down with her and talk to her. I want to hear her stories, before she can’t remember them anymore… which might actually be the case, I don’t know. But everytime I get to the house and see her, I just can’t bring my self to talking to her, much less being in the same room with her.

I wish I could have known my mom that I see in pictures. I wish I could have known the pot smoking, surfing, ‘rock~n~roll’ hippy that my mom used to be.I wish I could have known her when she smiled and you could tell that she was actually enjoying herself.

diet_cokeI took my roomate over to my house with me. On the way back, he told me that he had just cleaned out his car a few days ago. I feel like this picture doesn’t do it justice, but he drinks a whole lot of diet coke. It terrifies me.

Part of me loves the summer in the south, because I feel like I always have an excuse to be sweaty and smelly, all the time.

I wish I was better at coming up with cute acronyms for things. Their is nothing that I love more than an adorable acronym.


1 Comment so far
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You can be sweaty and smelly anytime you want, darling. Woof!

(Sorry for all the shitty mom stuff. That’s really fucking sad.)

Comment by Nick

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