This Southern Faggot's Blog


Stonewall genitals.
July 11, 2009, 1:41 am
Filed under: Faggot Rant, People to remember | Tags: , , , ,

I, really, couldn’t be more tired of hearing the terms “male bodied” and “female bodied” from well meaning people. A) My genitals are none of my god damned business, unless you plan on having them in your mouth ASAP, B) I really don’t understand how any ‘well meaning’ person could think that a penis makes you ‘male bodied’ or a vagina makes you ‘female bodied’.

Please stop policing my genitals. Thanks.

(post thoughts: The more I thought about this, the more I realized that no matter what, someone elses genitals are none of your fucking business. I think its completely valid to be surprised the first time you encounter someones genitals for the first (or second, third, or fourth) time.)

Genitals are a really interesting thing, which I have been thinking about a lot. When I talk to people about genitals and how offensive it is when people refer to people by their genitals, they usually come back with that sounds a lot like “but I need to know what they have, to know if I am attracted to them”. Part of me wants to think that is complete bullshit, sexuality is clearly more complicated than just genitals, but also, sexuality is really confusing, so who am I to say that. I don’t date people, or really even have sex with many people, but when I am interested in someone, I don’t think about genitals at all. That seems so simple to me. To me it seems like you can make anything physically work for you. But, you can’t really make a shitty personality work for you, so you should be more worried about that and less worried about their sun-don’t-shine parts.

I dedicated most of today reading anything that I could, by Yasmin Nair. Yasmin is such a god damned beautiful writer. Fuck! Her piece “Why India’s S.377 ruling is not Stonewall” is especially beautiful. I would love to see more people writing about this thing we are seeing LGBT folk call everything ‘the new Stonewall’. I would love to see someone who was a good writer talk about it, but seriousally, if you want a ‘new/another stonewall’, make it fucking happen. Start a fucking riot.

Today I was sitting in on a Queer youth groups discussion on relationships and it just made me really sad. I was hearing your typical mainstream gay shit and it was so disappointing. One person talked about how sex was not valid unless you knew the persons middle name, which got me to thinking and I don’t think I know the middle name of anyone I have had sex with. I hardly know most of their first names.

I am so sad that the grasstop orgs have done such a good job of de-queering sex for so many young people. Sex should be fun, adventurous and (safe sex) with folks you don’t know can be so healthy (I think)!

Another said you shouldn’t date if you don’t know their last name. One person started talking about how wrong they felt it was that people in the “lgbt” community dated folks so much older than themselves. To top it all off, I had to listen to someone talk about how the “correct plumbing” was important to them in a relationship.

Correct plumbing. Yes.

This meeting was so frustrating and mostly made me want to cry. Basically these folks only view the most boring, heteronormative relationships possible as valid.

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3 Comments so far
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Sad indeed, now I’m depressed…

But one thing about “male-bodied” and “female-bodied” — language moves so fast in the trans and genderqueer worlds we inhabit/create, so I think when some people say “male-bodied” (instead of “bio-male” or “really a man,” for example) it’s quite exciting — sometimes I worry that some of our attempts to create new possibilities end up also creating more mechanisms for policing.

Okay I’m blabbing, and maybe this is more of a tangent into my own interior world so I hope it doesn’t seem out of place — and, of course, people should talk about *you* in the way that you request…

Love —
mattilda

Comment by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

I think that these “PC” terms that we come up with for each other can quickly become more mechanisms for policing, when they aren’t called out for what they are. I think the real danger is not necessarily in these new terms, phrases, whatever we come up with, which can be exciting, but when we are afraid to question them. Or say “er… wait a minute!” Words are so fluid and move so quickly and I think thats important to recognize.

Comment by thissouthernfaggot

…*and* yes yes it’s depressing and frustrating when people insist on genitalia as the defining factor distinguishing between “man” and “woman,” or even between male and female…

Love —
mattilda

Comment by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore




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