This Southern Faggot's Blog


(a note: I wrote this weeks ago, but apparently forgot to mark it as “public”.)

It’s been really long time since I have fallen in love with a book, but Joanna Kadi’s “Thinking class” is really amazing. She is so personal in her writing, so straight forward and fabulous that reading it feels like shes talking to me. Or maybe passionately yelling, either or. I would recommend it.

I have chatted with a few folks who read this already, but I wanted to write about it and see if that would help my thoughts.

Constantly on Craigslist, Manhunt, Adam4Adam and other sites of the sort, I keep encountering phrases like “No Blacks” and  “No Latinos”. To me at first, I found these statements blatantly racist/terrible. But then the more I thought about it, the more I had trouble separating some white faggot saying “No Blacks” and some white faggot saying “No Women”. I would look at a faggot saying “No Women” and say “Oh, well that’s their sexuality, whatever” (Clearly this is different if they are saying shit like “women are icky” or “vaginas are disgusting”, but that’s a different story). But when I think of a faggot saying “No Blacks”, I am not so unquestioning.

Why is it that I view sexuality, as it relates to sex/gender as unquestionable, but when I think of sexuality, as it relates to race, I find my self asking so many questions? How does desire differ in how it relates to race and gender/sex? If desire, sexuality and race all interact in the same ways, that means that I have to view desire as it relates to sexuality and race, in the same light. Would that mean I have to choose between being unquestioning of both, or equally question them both?

I talked to Mattilda about this and she recommended that possibly the difference is that 2 men having sex goes against these norms of ‘1 man and 1 woman have sex’, but a white dude saying ‘no blacks’ is buying into this idea that races shouldn’t mix (That is clearly me butchering what she said, sorry about that). I like this and helps me somewhat, but that doesn’t feel like the whole reason I see this difference.

Clearly, this is complicated because I have no idea if folks saying “No Blacks” or “No Latinos” are saying that from a position of some sort of experience, or if they are basing that on what they have been taught by society, friends, family and growing up in the south. But then, if the folks saying it from the perspective of having past relationships with folks of color, would I even find that justified? I don’t want to say I wouldn’t, because it isn’t my situation/life, but I also don’t want to completely let it slide just for that reason.

Then this brings up an entirely different set of questions. Why do I feel comfortable implying that maybe some people are saying “No Blacks” just because they haven’t been with a person of color. BUT, I would feel uncomfortable implying that maybe a gay dude is just saying “No Women” because he hasn’t been with a woman.

I am very interested to read what people think about this.


1 Comment so far
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I thinks it all boils down to not knowing each other…we’re afraid of the unknown.

Comment by Thiago

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