This Southern Faggot's Blog


Elephant 6
November 16, 2009, 8:04 pm
Filed under: People to remember | Tags: ,

For most of my life, I have kept to my self. As a kid, I would climb trees, talk to animals, play in the creek, walk through the woods, whatever I had to do to make it. To survive. I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time, but now I get it.

Middle school was really, really rough for me. I did such a good job of forcing myself to forget, that now all I could tell you is where I went to school. I vaguely remember what the front of the building looked like. I have no desire to go back and never will. It is the only school I have ever gone where I have no desire to return. To remember anything about it.

After middle school, I became slightly more social and developed a few good friends, but I still kept to myself a whole lot. This is about the time I discovered the band Of Montreal and then, the Elephant 6 Recording Company, which was just a bunch of friends making music. Elephant 6 quickly became my best friends and felt more like family more than my bio-family ever did. I couldn’t get enough and I horded as much of it that I could, all through high school.

Elephant 6 is all but dead at this point, but I often think back to those times and I really, really don’t think I would be here, today, without all of that wonderful music. What a fucking weird thing to think about.

Anyway, about a year ago, my computer, amung other things, were stolen from me. Ever since then, I haven’t listened to much music at all. I didn’t miss it at the time, but now I am going through the long process of re-importing all that music to my new computer and it is kind of overwhelming. I just want to curl up and cry and giggle, at the same time and never leave my house again. I have a lot of really amazing stuff and I can’t wait to re-discover it all again.

I have missed you, a whole lot.

I think what Elephant 6 meant for us is very simple: there’s something pure and infinite in you, that wants to come out of you, and can come out of no other person on the planet. That’s what you’ve got to share, and that’s as real and important as the fact that you’re alive. We were able, at a really young age, to somehow protect each other so we could feel that. The world at large, careerism, money, magazines, your parents, the people at the rock club in your town, other kids, nothing is going to give you that message, necessarily. In fact, most things are going to lead you away from it, sadly, because humanity is really confused at the moment. But you wouldn’t exist if the universe didn’t need you. And any time I encounter something beautiful that came out of a human somewhere, that’s them, that’s their own soul. That’s just pure, whatever its physicality is, if the person can play piano, if they can’t play piano, if they’re tone deaf, whatever it is, if it’s pure, it hits you like a sledgehammer. It fills up your own soul, it makes you want to cry, it makes you glad you’re alive, it lets you come out of you. And that’s what we need: we desperately need you.

Julian Koster

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’m really glad you made it.

Comment by Nick

I mean, I’m really glad you’ve made it this far. And look, I’m still here too!

Comment by Nick

I’ve seen both Elephant 6 and Of Montreal live at the 40 Watt Club in Athens GA.

YOU have good taste in music.

Neutral Milk Hotel is one of my favorites. If you don’t know them, I think you’d like. My favorite song is King of Carrot Flowers (parts I AND II).

But My Bloody Valentine saved my life. “Loveless” was recorded in the early 90’s, but it is timeless. That album is the aural equivalent of longing. I saw them perform last year in LA after spending almost 15 years moping because I never thought I’d get to see them play live. And even though they haven’t put out a new album since Loveless and they only songs from Loveless (with a few older ones mixed in) it was still…sacramental.

ANd I am glad you made it too!

Comment by Elian Maricon

I am not sure how many times I have seen Of Montreal, at this point. At least 10, which is just silly. A while ago, when I was was still ~*obsessed*~ with Of Montreal, I was gong to go on tour with them, but it fell through (in kind of a shitty way) and I haven’t been able to enjoy them since :/

Hopefully Athens Pop Fest will be happening this year, I would love to go again

Comment by thissouthernfaggot




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