This Southern Faggot's Blog

You can’t, so I won’t.

An entire bag of seaweed wrapped rice crackers and you want to know what the fuck I have been eating. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten the whole bag. Eating and drinking are like that for me, mostly something to do, just to be doing something. We talk about sobriety and I decide that maybe that’s why not drinking was so hard for me in the beginning. Maybe I wasn’t wanting beer, necessarily, just something to be drinking. Something to be doing with my hands and mouth. Well, you know, aside from sucking dicks, which I’m not really into. For free, at least.

I worry that you are going to somehow imply that I should suck your dick. Or that you want to suck mine. Not that that wouldn’t be awesome, but you are only interested when drunk and that’s not something I’m into. Maybe it would be different if you would talk about any of this while sober, or would even acknowledge it. But you won’t, so I won’t.

Todays Food not Bombs was really good, although I ended up getting sick. I took some Benadryl for the first time in my life and I don’t feel like I will ever sleep again. My body feels tired, but my mind just wants to yell yell yell. My eyes feel like they are trying to look at everything at once. Not as a whole, but they want to see every specific thing, separately, which just leads to my eyes going INSANE , looking everywhere, wanting to see everything. You can’t see everything separately, please be okay with seeing everything in my life as a whole.

My head hurts.


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