This Southern Faggot's Blog

How Noble
July 20, 2010, 5:08 pm
Filed under: People to remember | Tags: ,

I love the new people that I meet, when I least expect it, when walking around downtown or taking care of my garden.

I just met someone named Noble and he said that he checks on my garden every day and had no idea why anyone would plant a garden on city land. He told be about this community garden that is apparently just a couple blocks from my house and said that I should stop by, I am going to go do that now. Also, he ended our conversation with “N-O-B-L-E, what does that spell?!” and I answered Noble! What a good way to make people remember your name.

I am still trying to figure out why I am still in this town. When I try to figure out why I am still here, I always end up thinking about the people I meet at Food Not Bombs, or from just walking around. Could it be that somewhere, somehow, these people, who I don’t really know that well at all, are keeping me here? If so… why?


town talk
July 11, 2010, 11:01 pm
Filed under: Questions, Things to notice | Tags:

I just want to lay down and cry somewhere. For a really long time. I don’t want to have to be worried about being bothered, or having to talk to anyone.

I don’t know if this is because this town has finally taken its toll on me and I just can’t make it here any longer. Or maybe I am just having an especially bad, disappointed-in-everyone-and-everything-around-me day.

I really enjoy this post that Mattilda made and feel myself thinking a lot of the same things. Especially “Sometimes I have absolutely no idea what makes me feel better or worse. Absolutely no idea.”

I understand the things that make me happy, in this town. Sometimes I wonder if I find this town bearable, because I know what things don’t make me happy, so I can just avoid them. But I find myself trying to think about the things that do make me happy here and they are very few and far between. Or, they are things that I could have anywhere. Things like gardening, ducks at the park, rope swings, reading at coffee shops all make me really happy, so that is ALL I spend my time doing.

But I am finding it more and more difficult to find true happiness in these things. I mean, plants and ducks are wonderful, but I am beginning to see that I need more in my life. Not much more, I don’t think, but at least a couple people and a few places that I would consider ‘safe’. These things are disappearing quickly… or I am just realizing they were not safe in the first place.

I have been thinking a lot of New Orleans. I feel like that town has a lot to offer me.

July 11th
July 6, 2010, 11:53 pm
Filed under: New projects, People to remember | Tags:

July 11th. How has it been almost a year already?

I have never been spiritual. I have been an atheist my entire life, but you get me through some really shitty times.

Sometimes I think you are with me.

Walking around downtown, exploring buildings, public art projects.

You would have never done any of these things, but I feel you doing them with me now.

Thinking of you makes me really happy. I want to see that smile that I miss so much.

Oh yea
July 3, 2010, 9:28 pm
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags:

I just realized I never posted this picture.

I found this in a truck stop on my trip to Florida.

The dvd’s were completly covered up, all you get to know before buying it is the race of the people involved.