This Southern Faggot's Blog

Did I mention, that I moved?
August 31, 2010, 9:30 pm
Filed under: mom, People I wish I could forget, The new hose | Tags: , ,

My fucking mother called again today.

She does not understand why I get upset, when she asks for my opinion and then after I give it, she tells me I am wrong.

I told her I will never be able to think of her as ‘my mother’ and she wanted to know what she could do to fix that. For some reason, my answer of “You can’t fix that. You can’t undo my entire childhood” just was not enough for her.

I made it pretty clear that I don’t have the time, energy or motivation to put into a conversation that would be necessary to even scratch the surface of our fucked up relationship. That isn’t enough for her. If I am critiquing our relationship, she wants me to be able to tell her exactly what is wrong and what she can do to fix it.

I don’t have the answers. Maybe when I was 16 and still cared about her, I could have sat down and worked out my thoughts.

But that was a long time ago.

On a more exciting note, I finally got a sewing machine and have been working on blackout curtains all day. I am super excited about them.


Fried Green Tomatos

The weather has such an incredibly influence on my mood. It always amazes me.

Today is the first day of summer, where it has been nice enough to leave all the windows open and not worry about AC. I really, really love fall and winter. For a long part of my life, the weather changing meant that I would soon be sad all the time, so I would just walk through what fields and woods I could find. I would just walk and listen to music, either singing, or crying, or both.

Usually both.

Part of me misses something about that, I am not sure exactly what. Maybe I miss being emotional enough to cry about something. It seems that lately it is hard for me to care enough about anything to cry, which I hate.

I just finished the movie Fried Green Tomatos, which is easily my favorite movie, ever (and also happens to be one of the only things that can make me cry). It always makes me feel like I am missing something, missing a part of southern culture that I am in love with, but have actually truley lived. It always makes me realize how much I long to live in a house, in the middle of the woods, with just a few people I can trust. We would have a little house with lots of fans and no air conditioning. It would have a huge tree in the yard and I would have a swing and a huge tree house. Of course their would also be a fabulous garden and a little creek to swim in and really, thats all I would need. I could spend the rest of my life hiking through the woods and getting to know whatever tiny town I was living in. Sure I would visit the city some times, but those trips would need to be far and few between.

chacha on
August 25, 2010, 4:28 pm
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: ,

So I moved, but just to a new house in the same town. I really love the new house, except for that our new neighbors are completely, batshit insane. You know that thing that you thought people only did in movies, where they hit the ceiling with a broom? In the “hay, you are being too loud” way? Well it turns out people actually do that. We were just walking around the house (without shoes on). Ugh.

Right now we don’t have internet at our house, so I am sitting at this little coffee shop I found by my house. It feels like it is part of a huge chain, but apparently they only have 5 stores and they are all in this state. I like it though, because they have a woman bake all the cakes who lives in the neighborhood. She is really sweet, I saw her yesterday.

I just got back from Athens Popfest and that was really good for me. This was my 4th time to go and was my least favorite, but I got to see a lot of folks I have been missing for years. After that I went to Asheville for a day to visit a friend, which was amazing. Asheville is a very strange place, with many, many Queers and Transfolk, which was both nice and incredibly overwhelming.

Another one of my friends told me today that they were going to be moving to Chicago, in a couple of days. Ugh.

Also, I became a Chacha guide and it is kind of fun, but mostly really frustrating.

Traveling webcams
August 6, 2010, 1:16 am
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: , ,

I will be traveling to Georgia soon, which is exciting. I do not know how I am going to get there, but hopefully a nice trucker will give me a ride. Or maybe a mini fan filled with all sorts of kids and animals that I can play with.

It turns out that made $30 on the webcam website, maybe I will go back and start doing paid shows again. I think I put too much energy into it, which I think is a common problem for new folks. I guess that explains why all the regular folks don’t try to be sexy or dance for people or be seductive, they just lay there. Good new plan.

I am moving to a new house! This is exciting news because I LOVE our new place so much. Our downstairs neighbors have already come up and said that we were being too loud (it was 3 pm and we had moved one couch). They pulled out a tape recorder and said they record all the noises they hear. I can’t wait till they hear all of our normal day to day noises.

Also, our other neighbor in the house next to ours is very odd. He came outside and I thought he was naked, so I was not going to talk to him. Then I noticed he had on underwear, so I was going to talk to him. Then I noticed it was a rebel flag bikini bottom that MAYBE came up to his asshole. So then, I decided not to talk to that neighbor. At least not yet. Even though I am planning on putting a garden in front of his yard. I hope he does not mind :/

My new garden! I am so excited about it. =