This Southern Faggot's Blog


Recently, I have had no energy to do anything. But last night, I had so much energy to do everything. I mean, I guess that is what that feeling was.

Anyway, it is hard to tell what is more overwhelming, no energy to do anything, or all the energy to do EVERYTHING. Of course this hit me late last night, so all I could do was talk around my neighborhood and think about projects, which I have not done in a long time.

I usually don’t pass over this one street, because I always assumed everything on that side would be new to me so I would end up walking around all night. But last night I crossed that street and I realized that I used to be in that neighborhood all the time. Somehow I didn’t realize that I lived so closely. Of course, all the assholes I knew there moved out because they were tired of living in ‘the dangerous ghetto’, but I just walked around.

Something about the mood I was in made everything look new, beautiful and amazing. The light and shadows of everything, things I have seen before, so amazing.

Maybe what I was experiencing was hope for the future. Now that this syringe exchange project is coming up, I actually have something to work on and look forward to, aside from petting cats and looking at my garden.

Anyway, as I was walking home, I met this amazing woman named Trina and even though she was trying to turn a trick, we still talked for a while. She is a couple of months pregnant and used to be a IV user, but stopped when she knew she was pregnant. She is HIV+ and currently homeless and had so much fucking energy coming from her, it was amazing.

Even though her daddy (her words) was circling us the entire time, we were still able to have this fabulous conversation and I ended up meeting him really briefly and he seemed to be really nice. When I went back home, we started talking via text and I ended up taking her some coffee, bananas, condoms and pepper spray. I think we are supposed to get together tonight, I hope we do.


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