This Southern Faggot's Blog


Relationships?
November 14, 2010, 5:52 am
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: , , ,

It is so strange to think about how un-important romantic relationships are, for me, right now. I mean, when I was younger, I used to be sad all the time because I would sit around and think about being lonely and think about how much I felt like I needed someone in my life. But now I don’t think that at all and I am not sure why.

So right now, I am completely un-interested in relationships and sex. I mean, in theory, I would consider myself a fun fuck, or kinky, or whatever. But in practice, I would rather read a book.

I imagine if I moved to a city where their was actually a population of Queers and Trans folk who were politically interesting and not rabid assimilationists, then maybe I would be interested in talking to someone. But down here, I have been fucked over by far, far too many people to ever even attempt that again.

I guess in reality, it would be impossible for me to really know how I feel about relationships. I think that I have mentally put up too many mental walls to protect myself, most that I don’t know about, that I could never know, down here in this climate, what I really think about relationships. Someone else, maybe. Maybe I would attempt such a thing in another town, where I had a little more faith.

Maybe if I found someone who was more interesting than a book, I would be willing to spend the time (and energy. The energy!) perusing some sort of fun fuck session. But I have not, so don’t. Turning pages is just more fun than anyone I know down here. Sorry y’all.

But the weirdest part of all, is that I am not sure if I am a cuddler anymore. Back when I was having sex, I would always choose cuddleing over sex, but I am not sure I would even have fun with cuddling anymore. It. Has. Been. So. Long.

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

And what are you reading, my dear?

Love —
mattilda

Comment by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

I just finished “Public Sex”, which was really, really good. Pat Califia is amazing and I must must must find more of their work! I just started “from act up to the wto” which is okay.

Comment by thissouthernfaggot

Dude, your right after so long whats the point….
BUT sex that is but the part about cuddling and having a buddy to hang with (or without) hurts…. i long to have someone to hang with… and sex is the least thing on my mind…

Comment by Steve




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