This Southern Faggot's Blog


Downhill
December 17, 2010, 7:01 am
Filed under: People I wish I could forget | Tags: ,

I don’t really know what happened. Maybe it was nothing. But my mood drastically changed, for the worse. I really, really don’t want to sleep on the floor of the Greyhound station again. I don’t want to be around those people. People who don’t give a shit about me.

People who I don’t give a shit about.

I want someone to pretend that they care. I want someone to say “yea, that really sucks that you can’t get to where you want to go”. I know they can’t do anything and I know they don’t really care. But maybe I would like someone to at least pretend.

I actually ended up in a bar, for the first time in fucking forever. I am drinking a beer, which I also have not done in forever. Having all these people around me, but being able to completely ignore them, is really comforting. I know no one cares, but I like to imagine that everyone is watching me type over in the corner, occasionally looking up and hating everything I see.

I don’t know how to make this better. Right now, at this very moment, the idea of finishing my trip to NYC seems impossible right now. I don’t understand how I will be able to finish.

Maybe I will wake up in the morning and everything will be better. Maybe I will get a good nights sleep and my bus will come and I won’t have to be in this mother fucking town anymore. I really want to like this town. I don’t want to wish that everyone in the world was dead when I think about this town.

I need to try and go to bed.

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1 Comment so far
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I don’t even know you and I don’t have to pretend.

That sucks. I hope you have got out of there since you wrote this.

Comment by Marlene




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