This Southern Faggot's Blog

Have you seen this?
January 25, 2011, 5:55 am
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: , , ,

Have you seen this article from The Advocate?

I read the entire thing, assuming they would explain what their ACTUAL way of determining what made a city ‘gay friendly’ was. Apparently this is the real one.

I mean, really, they used as a reference? died YEARS ago and they are also well known for keeping profiles around FOR EVER. I imagine if asked, they would say they used it because it is “all welcoming” of both men and women (and maybe even ‘Transgendereds’ or Shemales, or whatever they call Trans folk). Sure, they allow people other than men on their website, but using a hook up website as a tool automatically throws it off because gay men, across the board, tend to use hook up websites FAR more than anyone else.

Are Tegan and Sara even still around still? I mean, I guess it would be hard for me to know because why would they come down to a redneck, poedunk town like mine… right? I think it is interesting they used a band that consists of two white women, instead of any number of bands that actually have folks of color in it. For fun, go check out Tegan and Sara’s myspace page. The diversity of their friends list could only make HRC proud.

I think it is really interesting that they specifically used lesbian bars. But I have to wonder if they are talking about “Lesbian Bars”, you know, gay bars where women are not openly treated like shit, or the Lesbian Bars where men simply are not allowed without having a woman in the group.

I know that in my town, their are at least a couple churches that are not specifically faggot churches, but that locals know are ‘friendly’, I wonder if they would be counted. Or are they only counting the ones with rainbow flags proudly flying out front?

Wait…… I wonder who donated the most money to this study. Tegan, Sara, or What do you think? Would simply saying “Yellow Pages” not be enough?

I mean, but maybe I am secretly just pissed off that MY town isn’t on this list. Yes, that is probably it.


Oh look at that
January 22, 2011, 6:03 pm
Filed under: Tricks turned lessons learned | Tags: , , ,

Oh hay y’all, I turned my first trick in forever and it was amazing.

It was that guy who has the 25 year old partner who won’t fuck him anymore. He was really sweet and just wanted me to put my feet in daddies face, which I did and he came. We talked for a while. He either was interested in my attic fort, or was just playing along. Regardless, he bumped his head on the way out (you have to like, bend over in half to get down the stairs), which I felt bad about. I need to get some lights in that stair case…

Oh yea, he was also one of those tricks who just wanted to get off, but had no interest in me getting off. Which is too bad, because I took a room mates viagra for the occasion. But instead of getting off after he left, I ended up bottling cider that we have had fermenting for a week. Over all, a very productive day!

This again?
January 19, 2011, 4:51 am
Filed under: Tricks turned lessons learned | Tags: ,

I have been thinking about turning tricks again recently. Also, I realized a few weeks that now that my friend moved in with us, I can pay a months rent with just one trick.

I love that, so much.

I have been talking a lot to this one guy who is obsessed with everything I do or say. I think most people would be weirded out by him, but I am kind of enjoying it. He recently started ending e-mails with “Your servant, (his name)”, which always makes me laugh. We have not gotten together yet, but we should be soon. I am excited about it, he has been really chatty so far, so hopefully I won’t have to force any conversation.

This other dude is currently seeing some 25 year old dude, but he cut him off from sex, for some reason. He is really sweet, but I am really hoping that this turns into a situation where he is paying me to have sex with his partner. I can’t imagine that ever happening, but I really hope it does.

I don’t update this very much, I don’t really know why. Part of me worries that it is because I am constantly tired and it’s hard to care about anything. I am really hoping that this will change once the weather gets better.

Oh hay, its snow!
January 9, 2011, 8:57 pm
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags:

Would you look at that.

DDR Faggot

So, how fitting that I have a perfect example of my last post!

My roommate and I were playing Dance Dance Revolution (DDR), as we do quite a bit and RIGHT when we get on the machine, this group of guys on the basketball game thing start making faggot remarks. I turn around to give them “I fucking hate you and hope you die” look, which of course does nothing. Also, my “I fucking hate you and hope you die” look might look like something else to other people, who knows.

Anyway, so they make a few more faggot remarks, but then stop, which is good because it was fucking up my mad DDR game. But then it started up again and I could not handle it anymore so I just got off the machine and asked the group who called me a faggot. Of course no one claimed it (typical), which just pissed me off more so then I started yelling and told them that if they are going to call me a faggot, at least do it to my face. Eventually, I was shouting as loud as I could and they all walked away, which was pretty nice. Somehow I managed to not just break down into a sobbing wreck, which is really good.

After words, a woman with the sparkliest lip gloss I have ever seen and was really nice and just tod me to not worry about them and we chatted for a while. It was really nice.

Anyway, seeing all of those fucking kids be too afraid to call me a faggot to my face was really wonderful.

But, now I feel like shit. I just want to go to bed and sleep for days and days. I think it was totally worth it, but fuck, I wish this shit wasn’t so draining.

And then I had sex

I got fucked for the first time IN FOREVER last night and it was really, really nice. He went really slow (at first), which was amazing, because as we know, for some reason I ONLY know boys with horse cocks. Which is terrible, because I would much rather play with a ‘small’ penis than one that makes me cry when I think about it.

Also, the first thing he said after I told him I wanted him to fuck me was ‘do you have condoms’ which made my heart melt a little. I have always had to be the one to insist, which fucking sucks.

But anyway, he fucked me and it was amazing and after words walking was difficult and then I realize, that this is what I want sex to be. Not some fucker trying to shove his cock in my ass all willy-nilly, who is only wearing a condom because I forced him to.

Also, we made a video to send to his boyfriend back home and that part was really fun. The lighting is terrible and we are so close that all the sex sounds are somewhat deafening, but it’s still good I guess.

I’m getting tired

Sometimes that it feels like the process of just surviving is so demanding of my time and energy, that my identity gets lost and I don’t have the drive or energy to try to reclaim it. It’s getting harder and harder every day to correct people when they fuck up gender stuff. Or when people say or do fucked up stuff in general, most times I don’t have the energy to try to have some conversation with some fucked up person about something fucked up they said or did.

But, I mean, I don’t want it to be this way. I just can’t picture how it will ever get better.

Oh a happier note, the boy who drove an hour in the middle of the night to come to me, is now driving 10 hours to come here and I am really excited about his visit. I mean, he isn’t coming specifically for me, but it’s still going to be super nice to have someone else in my bed.

I finished moving into the attic! It’s nice when the heater is on, not so nice when the heater is off. But, I LOVE it a whole lot and I seem to be sleeping better, for some reason.