This Southern Faggot's Blog

All our neighbors

I think you will remember me talking about the neighbors under us. They are great, right? Apparently not.

Our downstairs neighbor apparently hates dogs, so she yelled at the new dog living at my house (who is part pit bull, but super nice) and the dog growled back, which she was not about at all. She ran up the stairs, told my new roommate that she was going to shoot his dog, which she of course won’t, but whatever. She yelled at us about the dog a few more times after that, so we have been walking him out the back and doing whatever we can do to keep them apart. But the day before we take in our rent, my new roommate is in his room and he can hear our neighbor yelling, very loud, about how all she knows is that the faggots upstairs aren’t going to have that dog any more. She yelled faggot a few more times and then stopped.

But the day after she called us all faggots (to our house, not to our face, of course), our pipes froze, burst and flooded their house! I don’t believe in karma, but if I did…

Anyway, when the awful woman came up to ask me if our house was flooding, we talked very briefly and she started walking back down the stairs. I asked her why she thought it was okay to call us Faggots and told her she should really just stay to to our face. She just kept on walking so I asked her if she was going to address what I just said and she said that she just yelled about the dog and has a lesbian living at her house (so of course she would NEVER call us faggots). Clearly I told her she was lieing, but even if she was not, she better fucking be more careful about who she lets around her house. She totally just brushed the whole thing off and walked back downstairs.

5 minutes later, she has the nerve to walk into our kitchen, uninvited and chatted to me and the plumber like we were fucking friends. I told her to get out, we don’t allow asshole bigots in our house and she left without a word.

Why can’t we get along with any of our fucking neighbors, EVER. We are the best neighbors, when you are not assholes.

Also, I told our landlords that we might have to print out some Tom of Finland posters to hang on our back porch and they seemed to think that was a good idea. I love my landlords so much.


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