This Southern Faggot's Blog

This day these thoughts
September 28, 2011, 3:41 am
Filed under: Questions, Thinking Thinking | Tags:

Are these fears of being falsely accused of being a pedophile irrational? Regardless of their rationality, how do I deal with these internalized views that have been forced upon me since I was a child myself?

I want to work all these fears out, but I don’t know how. I don’t know where to start.

I want to be able to join in on conversations at work and talk about the boys who I think are adorable, but I can’t without seizing up in fear that someone will interpret that as pedophilia.

At work, when talking to kids about their funny relationships, in my mind I always want to include multiple genders, so that they know that being Queer is certainly an option and not something to be ashamed of. But when it comes time to have these conversations with boys, I just can’t do it, ever. The simple act of even implying that a boy might be attracted to a boy is just something that I don’t feel I can do without my entire world screeching to a halt.

I know I have talked about this before, but I am still trying to figure this all out. I feel like I have a solid understanding of where this came from, but I don’t know what to do with it.


I disagree
September 23, 2011, 1:22 am
Filed under: Country Music, People I wish I could forget, People to remember, Questions | Tags:

I have been thinking a lot about liberal folk recently.

I want to know what kind of world we live in where this ‘agree to disagree’ shit is okay. I mean, doesn’t it feel like a cop out to you? In my experience, people ‘agree to disagree’ to end a conversation, but why can’t we continue talking? And isn’t agreeing to disagree essentially saying that you are not completely of your viewpoint? I mean, if you were 100% sure, why would you take anything less?

To me it feels like people don’t think they are allowed to disagree with the viewpoints of other people. But why? Why are we programmed to not know how to have honest conversations with people we disagree with? Or whos viewpoints differ from ours?

See, heres why I hate liberals, everything has to be politically correct for them to operate. But I don’t want to you to be worried about being politically correct with me, ever. Say what you want to say so that I know and I don’t have to keep on guessing. I would much rather sit around a campfire in the rural South with a group of people who think ‘homosexuality is a sin’ (or whatever) than have some conversation with some liberal who I am never really sure what they think about anything. If you think I deserve to die cause I’m a Faggot, I want you to tell me, I can work with that.

It is so refreshing to talk to people who will actually tell you what they think and not worry about being PC.

I feel like this is a Southern thing, or maybe just a rural thing. But being able to have honest conversations with someone who does not share your exact viewpoints is a really valuable trait that I honor and love.

I have been lacking these people in my life as of late and I really hate that. I just want people to tell me what they think, for the love of fuck.

Oh gosh
September 23, 2011, 1:07 am
Filed under: The weather! | Tags: , ,

Sometimes it feels so hard to stay connected to the rest of the world. I guess actually, I go between two extremes with it.

Sometimes hearing or reading about things that are happening in other places in america (much less the world) just feels so overwhelming I don’t know what to do. I mean, waking up and watering my plants is draining enough, sometimes hearing about other things going on in the world is just too much for me to even consider handling. But I hate this and it makes me feel completely disconnected from everything.

But sometimes, things just seem so bleak and awful around here that I just have to hear about what is going on in the world (or the rest of north america, at least). I just have to hear about something happening somewhere or I will explode.

But why can’t I live happily somewhere in the middle?

Fall is coming and I just just just can’t wait. It seems that most of my posts here are about the weather. To think of it, most of the conversations I have with people are about the weather, too. It’s not really small talk, it’s more that the weather has such a huge impact on how I feel that day, it feels important to talk about.