This Southern Faggot's Blog


This nothingness
December 3, 2011, 2:16 am
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: , , ,

The other night I got on craigslist for the first time in months and months. Not “got on” like I posted something, or replied to someone. “Got on” like I have not even been to that website, or any of the others, in so many months I can’t remember.

But the other night I just really wanted someone warm in my bed. I was kind of romanticizing that awkwardness. You know. Inviting someone over, having to have that small talk between the door and the bedroom. I love that. Love love love that. It’s so much fun to just completely make everything up. You get a chance to be anyone you want.

But craigslist is the same as always. It is always the same as always.

Except that I also got on okcupid, which I had completely forgotten about.

I like okcupid a whole lot. I mean, its pretty tame and boring, but sometimes that is nice. It reminds me of this website I used to be really active on, mogenic.com. It was the only gay personals website that I had ever found (or have ever seen) where you could actually put your real age. I think the youngest age that you could be on there was 14. 14! Can you imagine what it was like for be, being 14 and being able to actually admit that I was 14?

Thinking back on how much that website meant to me almost brings me to tears. When I hear people talking about how bad the internet is and how it distances everyone from each other, I always think back to that website. How would I have made it without the internet? Without that specific website… I just don’t know.

Back to okcupid. I really like that website, it seems like a good place to find people to cuddle with, which is all I really care about. But, I guess not that much since I just went many months without even thinking about it at all.

Somedays I just want to sit around and watch Parking Wars. Have you seen that show? A reality show about people who boot cars and write tickets. I really love it. It makes me wonder how many people we have like that in this town. Not that many, I  imagine.

But it’s Friday night and I want to do something. Something physical would be nice. I wish I could go swimming.

I have been thinking about getting into swimming for a while now. But do I really want to navigate those locker rooms? Maybe. I want to go swimming and then get into the amazing hot tub and just sit there for hours.

I wish I could take a bath, but we never have enough hot water to take a good bath. So I end up having to boil gallons of water on the stove and that just kills it, you know?

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