This Southern Faggot's Blog


Time for a horn solo
December 6, 2012, 5:56 am
Filed under: Interesting day, lessons learned, People to remember, Questions | Tags: , ,

We’re at that point where we kiss goodbye.

This is fun to think about, because I remember putting so much thought into giving you the first hug goodbye. Do you remember? We had just finished walking my dog, but we were standing in front of your door for way too long, still talking. At some point I said goodbye, but we kept talking. We could both obviously feel it, but neither of us made that first move, which is silly. I mean, it’s a fucking hug, what the fuck?

But anyway, we were still talking, just standing there, so we decided to walk more. After that second walk, something changed. We both made the first move, at the same time, to hug each other goodbye. We hugged goodbye and it was really nice, but I remember wanting it to last longer. Granted… I probably wanted it to last forever, so I guess any amount of time wouldn’t have felt like enough time. Did you feel the same way?

Last night, laying in your bed, watching Buffy together was really nice. I meant to go home after Buffy, but instead we laid in your bed just talking. You talk about how you are really, really into me and you are confused about your boyfriend. We talk a little bit about that and I let you know that I am also really, really into you. I’m unsure of what that actually means, but it feels right.

You ask, somewhat rhetorically, what I see in you. All I want to do is hug you and never let you go. I know you aren’t asking in a way that is putting yourself down and I’m really happy that I can see that. I tell him some of the reasons I’m into him and it’s actually really good exercise for me. It’s easy to think these things, but having to find a way to articulate it was very challenging, which I appreciate. We both end up talking about a lot of things, going back and forth and it’s really nice. It feels like we both were very honest and I doubt we both said everything we wanted to, but we did say a lot.

Throughout the night we are kissing. Not in a sexual way necessarily, but very sweetly. We both knew it wasn’t going to lead to sex (not tonight, at least) and sometimes it’s nice to know that ahead of time.

As I leave and we are saying goodbye and hugging, we do the goodnight/goodbye kiss for the first time. Why does this feel so different from when we kiss in your room? Why does this feel so much more passionate and meaningful? Nothing has changed, we just happen to be in a different room (and we are standing up). Maybe this was just a one time thing, a product of the conversation we had previously in the night, right?

But tonight, I just left your house and we had another goodbye/goodnight kiss and it was so, so fucking nice.

I guess we’re at that point where we kiss goodbye. Having something to smile about is also really nice.

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