This Southern Faggot's Blog


Elementary school handjobs
September 29, 2013, 6:42 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I’ve talked about this before on here, but I’ve been a nelly faggot my entire life. Everyone around me has always known. Looking at pictures of me as a kid, hands on my hips, sassy face, limp wristed, I just can’t help but to laugh. My parents weren’t ready for the kid the raised, but somehow it happened anyway. 

I should also say that I wouldn’t change that for the world. Being a nelly faggot is who I am today and has always been a big part of my life, I wouldn’t change a day.

But, in being a big ole nelly fairy faggot queen, people make a lot of assumptions about me. Some of them are true, some maybe not. But the one that interests me the most, is that people assume I’ve had a lot (whole, whole) of sex in my life and I started having sex at a very young age. This isn’t true, but I certainly wish it was! I didn’t have any sexual encounter with anyone until I was 20 (this includes making out), which I almost feel ashamed to admit, which is so odd. I feel like when I tell people that, I somehow am less of a nelly faggot in their eyes. I mean, what kind of gay kid wasn’t sucking the dick of every kid in the boy scout troop, or giving blowies in the elementary/middle school bathrooms? I often spend time wondering how being a non-sexual being until I was 20 shaped who I was in high school, or what I became now. 

Growing up, having a big friend base was always difficult, because associating with me automatically turned you into “the kid who was friends with the faggot”. I don’t wish this, but I do wonder what it would have been like to have been “one of the guys”. What would it have been like to have sleep overs and touch my friends dick, or give him a hand/blow job or even just cuddle? If I hadn’t been the one visible gay kid growing up, would I have been able to have sex earlier? If I had been having sex earlier, would I be a different person today? If so, how would I be different? I wouldn’t consider myself sexually repressed at all… but I don’t ever picture myself ever ‘settling down’ with one (or a couple group) person (or people), or even being able to say ‘I love you’ to a partner(s) and maybe that would be different if I had been intimate with people earlier in life.

I spent most of my life waiting for everyone around me to come to terms with who they were, so that they could be seen associating with me… how did that impact my life? On the surface, I know it made me very lonely… how what else would be different about me today? 

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