This Southern Faggot's Blog


Will I ever learn?
June 20, 2016, 7:36 pm
Filed under: Faggot Rant, People to remember

You know those times that you wish you could go back in time and just shake some fucking sense into yourself?

This is absurd and focusing on this is obviously not productive, but this feeling is something I’ve been focusing on, a whole lot, lately.

One or two things in particular, I just can’t believe how fucking stupid I was.

The feeling that things could be better right now, if you had made better decisions in your past is pretty upsetting.

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Another post about self care
June 12, 2016, 3:02 pm
Filed under: Thinking Thinking, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

It’s so easy to talk about self care. I talk about it and it’s important, all the time.

But practicing self care in a world where you are regularly reminded that you’re wanted dead, is hard.

I sometimes hear from (usually white) LGBT people (I don’t agree with) that they are “more than their LGBT identity.” Somedays, it seems like that must be nice. I can’t leave my identity behind, anywhere, because it is the most important thing in my life. How could I ever leave it behind?

But this identity also makes it hard to have a positive view on the world, because I’m constantly reminded that, someday, this identity will kill me.

News just broke of the shooting in Orlando. It’s these sorts of days that I think about how nice it must be to leave your LGBT identity somewhere and walk away from it. I don’t want to make it sound like I think that my identity is a burden, but, especially on these days, it makes everything feel especially heavy.

I can’t imagine how nice it must feel to be able to leave that heaviness behind.

But, I can’t. And I know that I really don’t want to. That heaviness is what gives me the energy to move forward.

Somedays it’s just too much. Somedays I wish I could just view the regular murdering of LGBT people as an outsider. I can’t and I’ll never be able to. But it sure sounds nice.