This Southern Faggot's Blog


Another post about self care
June 12, 2016, 3:02 pm
Filed under: Thinking Thinking, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

It’s so easy to talk about self care. I talk about it and it’s important, all the time.

But practicing self care in a world where you are regularly reminded that you’re wanted dead, is hard.

I sometimes hear from (usually white) LGBT people (I don’t agree with) that they are “more than their LGBT identity.” Somedays, it seems like that must be nice. I can’t leave my identity behind, anywhere, because it is the most important thing in my life. How could I ever leave it behind?

But this identity also makes it hard to have a positive view on the world, because I’m constantly reminded that, someday, this identity will kill me.

News just broke of the shooting in Orlando. It’s these sorts of days that I think about how nice it must be to leave your LGBT identity somewhere and walk away from it. I don’t want to make it sound like I think that my identity is a burden, but, especially on these days, it makes everything feel especially heavy.

I can’t imagine how nice it must feel to be able to leave that heaviness behind.

But, I can’t. And I know that I really don’t want to. That heaviness is what gives me the energy to move forward.

Somedays it’s just too much. Somedays I wish I could just view the regular murdering of LGBT people as an outsider. I can’t and I’ll never be able to. But it sure sounds nice.

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