This Southern Faggot's Blog


Relationships?
November 14, 2010, 5:52 am
Filed under: Nothing Terribly Important | Tags: , , ,

It is so strange to think about how un-important romantic relationships are, for me, right now. I mean, when I was younger, I used to be sad all the time because I would sit around and think about being lonely and think about how much I felt like I needed someone in my life. But now I don’t think that at all and I am not sure why.

So right now, I am completely un-interested in relationships and sex. I mean, in theory, I would consider myself a fun fuck, or kinky, or whatever. But in practice, I would rather read a book.

I imagine if I moved to a city where their was actually a population of Queers and Trans folk who were politically interesting and not rabid assimilationists, then maybe I would be interested in talking to someone. But down here, I have been fucked over by far, far too many people to ever even attempt that again.

I guess in reality, it would be impossible for me to really know how I feel about relationships. I think that I have mentally put up too many mental walls to protect myself, most that I don’t know about, that I could never know, down here in this climate, what I really think about relationships. Someone else, maybe. Maybe I would attempt such a thing in another town, where I had a little more faith.

Maybe if I found someone who was more interesting than a book, I would be willing to spend the time (and energy. The energy!) perusing some sort of fun fuck session. But I have not, so don’t. Turning pages is just more fun than anyone I know down here. Sorry y’all.

But the weirdest part of all, is that I am not sure if I am a cuddler anymore. Back when I was having sex, I would always choose cuddleing over sex, but I am not sure I would even have fun with cuddling anymore. It. Has. Been. So. Long.

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fuck me in the shit

I was thinking about this the other day and realized that I have never had sex with anyone who understood my GenderFucked-ness, or got it, or even tried to get it.

Sure, I have fucked a (very) few people who would use my proper gender pronoun, but it was always clear they were only doing it to entertain me. They are the type of people that probably explained me to their friends as ‘a dude in a dress’, or used terms like “man pussy”.

That fucking sucks and I hate it so much.

Maybe that is why I have such a disinterest in sex. Can someone who ‘gets it’ please come and wildly fuck me so that I can possibly be interested again?

Thanks.